How to Plan Beyond the Wedding
Updated: Sep 11, 2020
To the engaged couple:
Congratulations! You found the one that makes you feel loved, safe, inspired, and valued. You both committed to choosing each other every day and building a life together. Take that in.
Planning the big day? Wedding planning can be a mix of excitement, stress, and exhaustion. Your genuine connection can get lost through all of the madness that happens after getting engaged. The planning process for that one special day can leave couples feeling discouraged and disconnected. It is so easy to lose sight of preparing and planning for a successful marriage. You are checking off the wedding to-do list, encountering conflict in budget planning, and negotiating details between your parents and in-laws. Planning every detail while working, maintaining a social life, and dating your partner. AND making time for pre-marital counseling?
So much time is spent preparing and planning the wedding day, because it is a special and meaningful day that celebrates the beginning of your marriage! I love looking at my wedding pictures and remembering how beautiful and sentimental the day was. With pre-marital counseling or workshops, the most beautiful part of your marriage will not be your wedding photos.
Benefits of pre-marital workshops/counseling programs:
Learn more about yourself and your relationship
Identify mutual goals and shared meaning
Improve communication skills to better express your needs/wants
Avoid potential conflict areas or common pitfalls
Pre-marital counseling workshops and programs discuss topics such as:
Getting on the same page
Building a solid foundation for marriage
Managing & repairing conflict together
Blending two families – family relationships, values and expectations
Going in the same direction – goals and priorities
Managing life together – roles and balance
Maintaining connection– affection, intimacy, and sex
Planning for children and parenting
So how do I plan and prepare beyond the wedding?
Deepen your understanding and communication with your partner:
- What are the strengths in our relationship?
- What are our differences and how do we accept and manage each other’s differences?
Examples: Neatness, finances, playfulness, time together, and time apart
- What does trust and commitment mean to you?
- What are your goals and priorities (personally, financially, and relationally)?
- What is your ideal balance of work, life, and family?
Attend a one day pre-marital workshop for couples:
Workshops are perfect for couples to learn communication skills, identify common obstacles in marriage, and start essential conversations with their partner in a classroom-like environment.
Commit to a weekly pre-marital counseling program:
Pre-marital counseling allows couples to receive more personalized feedback through assessments, addressing personal areas of growth and conflict, and developing skills together with a therapist.
For those already married or have been together for a long period of time:
Maybe you never had pre-marital counseling or you think your relationship would benefit from discussing any of these topics further, such as enhancing your ability to repair after conflict. If you’re already married, therapy can help prevent potential conflict areas before you start a life transition or to rebuild your connection! You don’t have to be experiencing a conflict or be on the brink of divorce to come in for some support.